From Fig Leaves to Faith

That feeling.

2011-01-23T02:19:00.005-06:00

"Never seen so many people want to be there by your side, and when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away, I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight"

I heard this song, and I instantly saw Jesus, in a modern setting, surrounded by famous people. Then I came in and He stopped, turned, looked at me and smiled. Like I was the one He was waiting to see.

That's how He feels about you.

End Game pt2

2011-01-19T00:58:00.001-06:00

Matthew 24:14 "And this Gospel of the Kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."

5 years until California... Probably more like 4 years and a couple of months now... I'm not sure how I arrived at that sort of number, but it just ... seemed right in my spirit when it stuck with me half a year or so ago. So, the entire plan seems to follow this track.. Since it is all about sending to the nations.. the first part would be getting out there.

The house is secondary at first.. I'm almost certain it will, in finality, be either near the Santa Barbara or the Ojai area... for the meantime, we may end up staying somewhere closer to the city.

The inner city gym/after-school program would be the first to take shape (from an organization standpoint)... then as it became popular, there would be two... three... four.. or however many there needed to be to meet need and start a multiplicating effect across the city (nation?)... Some students would graduate and leave, some would come back as teachers... but more importantly, some would be saved to Jesus at an early age and want to spend themselves among the peoples of the world. This is where the next part comes into focus.

The missions training school, something that could take place part-time in the gym/outreach/after-school program area, would be built next. The website is already these days taking shape.. albeit a very anonymolous shape at the moment... But at this point, there would be an actual facility. It would be primarily a secondary education sort of place with it's own teaching areas, publishing departments and auditoriums and command centers.. but it would also have a primary education facility. We plan on making very quick use of programs such as Rosetta Stone language learning software... Why?

Well... let's say a 7 year old.. street kid.. gets saved... I don't know the ins and outs of paperwork and red tape at the moment, but let's say he decides, he wants to be a missionary.. and wants to go to Djibouti, Africa to reach the unreached tribal groups living in that nation (we're going to be focusing on unreached people groups). We would, after slicing through the red tape with some sort of fashion, bring him out to the secondary facility and renew his primary education with an added bonus. He would begin learning all he can about the tribal people (as specifically as possible) that he can, their language (as early as possible), their customs, their history.. as if it were his own. His twelfth grade project would be to finish the translated Bible (that he'd started in 9th grade) into that tribes language and have it ready for print as he and his team prepare to leave for that nation to be planted among those people as witnesses for Christ.

(this is all ... just theorizing right now, but I promise you, it is very real theorizing.. and something exactly like this will happen.)

As we begin sending missionaries throughout the world, our house will come into shape. It won't be a house specifically designed for my wife, our children and myself to "get away from it all" but as a place where missionaries, tired and worn from their hard labor, may come and rest and be taken care of while they recuperate... we'll have as many as 3 different groups of missionaries staying on our property every week, and these groups will have nothing required of them except that they allow themselves to be served and refreshed. Well, one thing will be required.. they will each teach an hour long class for a week at the university (a class set aside simply for these missionaries to come and bring teaching and news about the world the students themselves are about to embark on) ... there are other things, but this is starting to get long.

So.. the school is going along swimmingly, people are being sent to the nations and the unreached are becoming reached.. so.... here's where the vision about unreached peoples ties in.. The Joshua Project lists the total unreached people groups at around 6,918... in the vision the witnessing body of Christ was down to 3 total remaining in the world!! and Matthew 24:14 plainly states that when the Gospel of the Kingdom is preached to all these nations.. the end will come.. not that we're predicting dates.. because....

At this point, ... at the point the last of those 3 groups is reached.. our entire mission organization pulls roots and drops itself into the middle of Israel. Because in Matthew 10:23... Jesus, speaking to his disciples said, "When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes." I also think it is remarkable that the last, smallest thing God said to me out of all these visions, (the one I misunderstood) also comes to fruit here.. In ministry to the lost beloved of Israel... I am with her in the end.. as a brother.

At this moment, we will begin preaching the Gospel in every town in Israel where we can go... leaving when persecuted or when a church is planted... until the Son of Man appears... and we rise to meet Him!

I think Jesus could not tell his disciples when He would return because it depended on us. If Jesus had known and had told us when he was going to return, we'd look around and say, "Oh.. he's not going to be here for 3 or 4 more years, let's sleep a bit." But what if we look at it from this perspective.... His returning... (from Christ's own words...) His returning depends on US. Depends on us getting the Gospel message to every nation, tribe and tongue.

We truly have a remarkable and wonderful responsibility... Praise You Jesus for giving us Your Holy Spirit so we could have the fortitude to work alongside You... We have the opportunity to speed the end! (which is the name of the website by the way..) It was the last thing God gave me when I was in the car on the way to Tulsa... and it broke me.. "Speed The End"........ we have an enormous responsibility. God wants us to be co-laborers with Him. Let's do it.

End Game (or if you just want to understand craziness... (me) )

2011-01-18T00:44:00.001-06:00

This is it. Everything I can type up, write out, think through and expel into one continuous-though-separated-into-paragraph-spill about what I feel is the reason I was put here.

...and some of you may understand me just a little bit more when you're finished..

skip to the ***** if you want to get past the in between stuff. Otherwise, read and understand me better.

I've had several "visions" and dreams during my lifetime that I absolutely knew were spiritual in meaning. The visions simply occurred in my mind's eye... nothing that dissolved reality... most of these, I separated into their own little test tubes of "ideas"... never once connecting them all as something I would do together. They were things I could see happening here or there, but not at once. One in particular, a youth center of sorts, I tried to offer up as an idea for a different youth group. It just never occurred to me that I'd do anything like that.

I wanted to do everything.. everywhere.. There were very few times I'd work at a store and be content to "stand behind the cash register"... or "stock shelves." I'd see a person doing this other job and I'd be incredibly interested in learning that job. Not because I necessarily wanted more money, but because I just wanted to learn. I'd learn a job so quickly and then figure out 12 different ways to improve working conditions or expedite the process (most if not all of which were shot down because "we've always done it this way") and get bored out of my mind... usually within a week. But I couldn't get into that other job, or if I did, it was simply rinse and repeat... So I'd talk to customers.. I'm known for incredibly high customer service.. but even though I'd get my work finished before anyone else, I was labeled as lazy or non-working. So, I bounced around from job to job.

*****
I went to Tulsa this past year.. and on the trip, God literally filled the vehicle. It was one of those trips where I spent too much money, money I didn't really have, but have been forever changed to have spent. On the way up, my mind was filled with several dreams and visions I'd had over my life.. some as early as when I was 15 years old, some as recent as the Sunday before, or during World Mandate. Throughout my life, I'd seen the different dreams and visions as pieces to different puzzles... or more realistically, I felt I was a conglomeration of the unneeded pieces of everyone else's puzzles.

I wish people could understand the feeling of purposelessness that conveyed.. for thirty-six lonely years.. feeling virtually alone in my corner.. not even family understanding why I did things the way I did (most of the time not understanding myself)... sometimes blaming themselves.. sometimes not knowing who to blame.. But now I can honestly look back and say, they did it right..

But that day.. on a cold drive to Tulsa, seeing snow piled high in the parking lots of shopping malls, God pulled it all together. It suddenly, instantaneously, snapped into place. A puzzle completed and full, of more than 10 lifetimes full of things to accomplish when a third of my life seemed to be finished. (I'm just now realizing that 2/3rds of Moses' life was finished before he got back to Egypt to lead God's people from captivity)...

so... I guess I'm going to have to talk about the visions..
The first happened when I was really young.. not sure when. I had this picture in my head.. I was looking out of the windows of a room filled with books and rustic furniture. There were aquariums and a large fireplace.. as I looked through the windows I could see that a hill ran gently down to a river running with white water rapids and across the river the land rose steeply toward the peak of another hill/mountain..

that was all I saw for a long time.. until mom told me to draw it out. She said maybe when I drew that room out, God would give me the rest. About five years later, I drew the room out.. and the rest came quickly... we're talking about.. minutes. Not days...

the second was briefly after, or before... it was of a gym.. basketball court with a couple of bowling lanes down one side, a snack bar in back and pool tables and such with a room above filled with computers.. It was for lock-and-key kids... or for kids who's parents didn't care that they existed.. or for the homeless.. to help them get an education or whatever..

the third was a three or four story building.. I barely saw it. But I knew it was a missions training organization. I was standing in waist high grass (it looked like wheat or barley)...

..... hold it.. Wow, just now (rereading for clarity) I remember it was ripe.. and remember Jesus' words, "the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few" .. oh wow.. I was standing in a field of ripe wheat outside of a missions training organization!! Jesus, send laborers!...... (back to the story)

...and the wind was blowing through it. I remember seeing some friends (some of whom I know now) walking down the back stairs. They were heading in the direction of a large 18-wheeler hauling cars.. (I still don't understand that part) but I knew they had come to speak and train some of the students there briefly.. I also knew that I was in charge of the place.. in some capacity.. I turned and far below me, in the valley behind was the stretched out city of Los Angeles.. I don't recall ever specifically being to LA, I just knew it was LA..

the fourth was of myself and my wife standing on a small desert hill somewhere in southern California.. She was holding a baby.. I'm guessing 3 months old.. (now that I see how big Ava is at 3 months.. that's how big the baby was my wife was holding.) She said, "Where are we going to live?"
And I replied, "250 miles north of the southern border of California."
This dream took place while I was sleeping in a hotel in Arlington with my parents who had come down to watch a Ranger's game. It was a couple of years ago... I went downstairs and used the hotel computers to find a spot 250 miles north of the southern border of California.. thinking for sure it would be somewhere near Sacramento.... wow.. I was wrong. The road I found ended in a 'T' at 250 miles. When I switched to satellite views... I saw that the land had a river running east to west through it... exactly like my vision from the room from 20 years before. (I got goosebumps)

The next was ... slightly personal and perhaps a bit.. misleading.. basically because I thought it meant something else. When I was at CFNI, I liked this girl... I REALLY liked this girl.. She's one of the most spiritually gifted and spiritually tender people I've met, and I figured we'd be together forever. But it wasn't God's will (though she and I are great friends to this day, which is also God's will)... but one semester, she was leaving.. and I was terrified she was never going to leave and I was never going to have a second chance to tell her how I felt. I was sitting in my little red Pontiac LeMans (which my dad un-affectionately called the Pontiac Lemon because of it's slight solenoid problem... ) and suddenly heard God as clearly as I've ever heard anything in my life, "In the end, you'll be together." There was a peace I could not describe, and I dropped it then and there. At the time, I still took that to mean, married.. but obviously not..

brief segway --- this same storyline suddenly reaches me in the car on the way to Tulsa where the last vision takes place (the one just below this one)... but this wasn't so much a vision as much as I just knew it would happen.. I saw myself in Israel preaching boldly from town to town that Jesus was the Messiah.... but I'll explain what I heard in the next blog...

skip to the end..

sort of the last one was a vision I had while I was in the car on that trip to Tulsa. I saw myself grabbing the phone and calling as many pastors, churches, families and friends that I knew to tell them to save as many lost as they could, save their cities, factories, neighbors, coworkers, etc... I was very excited and adamant on the phone... I was telling them that we only had 3 more unreached people groups before we were finished reaching the nations....

Well, that's that.. that's my End Game. For all that to be completed. But this is too long, and I will post "End Game" part 2, tomorrow.... it will tie it all together. And it will probably be less confusing than this one.

I love all of you.

It's been a while

2011-01-17T01:40:00.000-06:00

Well, that's understating it. School is about to start, and I'll try to make sure this is not the post I read seven months from now thinking "I was really going to start keeping up with this thing back then.... oh well."

So, here's to that thought. ... I.. have apple juice. Good. :) Though, does that mean no doctors will read my blog? Food for thought... drink for thought?

I've been through a hectic, although very rewarding, winter-Christmas-time. I'm a third of the way through The Count of Monte Cristo and possibly a tenth of the way through War and Peace.. and I must say I do like them both. I do not like them both so much that I will completely neglect my life to finish them (which is probably why I haven't finished either of them so far) but they are captivating in the time I have to pick them up.

I've come up with another couple of inventions.. one for hanging pictures, one for hanging (or for mounting) fairly large canvases (most likely to be used during the painting process) and a couple of others that are still bouncing around in my head. I'm certain that were I to get this book published and ever had enough capital to do anything with, I'd be able to create cash flow to push forward with any sort of organization needed.

If you haven't already realized what my "End Game" is.... then perhaps it is because I've never really stated it. I guess that's something I will have to do.. but since that will be another focus altogether, I want to put that into it's own little (probably quite large) post. For now, it is 1:38am... and it is time to sleep.

My last off day before school begins again. I...am...excited! :)

How to Read the Bible

2010-12-18T13:25:00.001-06:00

Every part of the Bible was written in sections. Just like an author writing a regular piece of prose, the books were pieced together through the thoughts of the author. But in our case with the Bible, the thoughts are from God, and the Author is God. The writers... well, they are the ones with the pens; or quills, or whatever they used.

Did you know, however, that there were no divisions in the Bible when it was first written? Except for the collections of Psalms (being split into different writings then compiled later into one book) and other than the fact that each book was written separate entirely (perhaps except for the Pentateuch (Genesis - Deuteronomy), there were no numbered verses or chapter divisions. Editors and printers have systematically inserted a numbering system into the Bible to break it down and make it easier to read. There was nothing wrong with it, but that's where we got lazy. The books were meant to be read in one sitting. The people of Israel read through the entire Pentateuch on certain occasions (in other times they only read certain parts).

I was told to do this by a teacher from CFNI, and I've been doing this for a while now... at least, when I do sit down for long enough to read this way... and even when I don't, I feel I'm missing something by not doing so.

But I challenge you... read Ephesians.. straight through. All the way, for 30 days. Don't read anything else out of the Bible except Ephesians.. maybe a Psalm or Proverb or something. But read that.. for 30 days and see what you get. When you link it together in your brain, the theme and what the author was trying to say come out boldly and clearly. That's when the change happens.

When a chapter starts with "Therefore," what is it talking about? It's talking about what it just went over in the previous chapter. You should never start a reading with a "Therefore." You have to go back and see what the "therefore" is referring to, or you could be in error in your interpretation.

Try it. It will change your life. After Ephesians.. go for Romans. I PROMISE the book will make A LOT more sense. :)

Dry Land

2010-12-11T13:36:00.000-06:00

Blog-readers... I guess I could be a little un-mundane and tell you something I never realized until earlier today. My friend in high school... Daniel, was his name. He was probably my best friend, but I was so interested in trying to be popular, (never really succeeded.. A.D.D. probably had a hand in that) that although we had the most in common and most fun hanging out, neglected really spending time with him as much as I could have... I took his sister to the prom, though we went as friends (she was cute) and then she died in a tragic car accident a few years later.

I sat next to him at the funeral.. but I honestly can't remember doing much with him. I wish I had, because shirking the idiocy that comes with trying to be something you're not brings a nugget of self-respect. Who knows.. I may have ended up doing something, instead of chasing what I thought I should have been doing. So here I am, barely having finally pulled free of the riptide dragging me away from shore. Finally having broken free, I'm no longer treading water, but swimming toward a shore I know to be just over the horizon. I do not know the shore yet, or what it looks like, but I know it's there, and it's time to stand on solid ground. I've been bobbing to and fro, mouth barely catching the surface, for far too long.

Thanks be to God alone who has given me the strength to keep my head above water in this mess. He's pulling me out and pointing me in the right direction. The shore is there, I just need to get on land.

Bucket List 31-40

2010-12-09T02:55:00.000-06:00

Go on a cross country road trip
This item can coincide (and probably will) with the "visit every state" list item. My preference is to take Route 66 from one end to the other.. but I haven't really researched the route and so far it's placement on my preference for road trip routes is merely there for historical and popularity reasons. Depending on whether or not I really research this, or simply string together several things I'd really like to go see, it may be completely different or not. It doesn't have to be done a certain way, certainly not in an RV, more than likely in a convertible, and with at least 1 other person. This one isn't that hard to plan.. and probably wouldn't cost an arm and a leg. No hotels, if possible, camping out is cheaper and more fun. It'll probably be around a week and a half.
Needs for the trip:
- vehicle
- suitable co-tripper
- food.... can't eat out the whole time
- gas
- route

Estimated cost: $500...
Date of Completion: 2013
Go rock climbing
This one is something I've done before.. but only in an inside facility. What will cross this off the list is going rock climbing in Mineral Wells State Park. They're actual rocks, but I don't know if I'll need my own gear to climb there. So I'll have to do a little research.

Needs:
- perhaps my own gear

Estimated cost: $50-175
Date of Completion: 2012
Go on a safari
This one will definitely take a little more planning. I want this one to be protracted now that I think about it. I've decided, (between numbers 2 and 3.. haha.. ) that everything I do will have something to do with bringing people closer to God. Whether I am on a missions trip.. or just talking to them or giving of myself to them. So I want this safari to incorporate some sort of missions trip in the midst of it. I really want to see the Savannah of Africa.. see the giraffes, elephants, lions, zebras.. the way God created them.. roaming and wandering about. This world is God's aquarium/terrarium and and everything is balanced. I love that symmetry and beauty. I once had a jar with dirt and a couple of plants in it.. the lid got stuck and I couldn't get it off. Well, things continued to grow. The little spider or whatever was in there breathed the oxygen and gave off carbon dioxide to the plants who in turn produced the oxygen. I can honestly STILL (I was 7 or 8.. it was on Rowena St) remember the exact smell of damp, raw, clean oxygen when the lid finally loosed itself from the jar. This world is God's terrarium. No outside influences are needed to keep it going.. because God created it with His Master hand.

Needs:
- passport
- ideal clothing
- good pair of hiking shoes
- Bibles in whatever language is spoken where I'm going
- money for touring, etc.
Cost: +$1,000s?

Estimated Date of Completion: 2020
Visit Victoria Falls
I could probably Google this and know the answer, but I'm not leaving this page until this blog is finished, so I'm not going to. It may be one of those things that takes place during another Bucket List cross-off, but until I figure that out, I'm treating it as separate.

Needs:
- passport
- ideal clothing
- money for touring
- Bibles
Cost: $750s?

Estimated Date of Completion: 2018
Dive the Great Barrier Reef
This one is near Australia.. I know that much for sure. I can become certified here at the school, and there is a decent chance I could even do some sort of summer work at the Barrier Reef.. though I doubt I'll take it. I really look forward to this, as I have a huge interest in sea life.

Needs:
- scuba gear (rental most probably)
- passport
Cost: $1000

Estimated Date of Completion: 2017
See Angel Falls
This one will be taken care of with another.. that or Victoria Falls will be. One of these is in Zimbabwe.. the other is in South America.. can't remember.
Needs:
- passport
- good shoes
- Bibles
Cost: $1500

Estimated Date of Completion: 2019
Climb the Statue of Liberty
I've recently discovered that this one is relatively cheap. To climb all the way to the top of the Statue of Liberty is only $5 extra than it is to actually go to the island. Since you have to make reservations months in advance to visit the Statue of Liberty and only a very small number are allowed to go inside the Statue per day.. it may be a year in the wings before I can do this one, even if I called today. The costs will be relatively small, considering.. since I've driven to New York before.. staying just outside the city is relatively cheap. Once you get into Manhattan, it's mainly walking and subway riding from that point anyway. In my estimation and experience, however, bring some good shoes.

Needs:
- Time
- Gas money or plane ticket
Cost: $300

Estimated time for Completion: 2011
See Mount Rushmore
Well, at least as far as this set of 10 is concerned, this should be the easiest on the list to mark off. Mount Rushmore is in South Dakota... quite possibly the cheapest place in this group to get to and stay for a while. I'll probably try to find a few things to do while up there.. maybe travelling into Canada for a couple of days, or visiting where Custer's Last Stand took place.

Needs:
- basic road trip supplies
Cost: $200

Estimated Date of Completion: 2012
Visit a castle
This one will definitely be taken care of when I go to Scotland to see the beautiful British Islands. I want to see the White Cliffs of Dover and various other places on the islands.

Needs:
- passport
- travelling set up
Cost: $1250

Estimated Date of Completion: 2016
Visit the Pyramids of Giza
The last of the ancient wonders of the world.. These massive structures were built when the Hebrews were living in Egypt under the oppressive hand of the Egyptians. To see these has always been something I've wanted to do. I'll probably do this when I visit Israel.. so I'll lump that in with that visit.

Needs:
- separate passport (one for Israel one for everywhere else)
- comfortable clothing and shoes
Cost: $2,500

Estimated Date until Completion: 2025

Bucket List 21-30

2010-11-28T20:15:00.002-06:00

Learn the guitar.
This isn't something I think will take a lifetime, but it is something I want to work on for a lifetime. I want to learn to finger-pick... so I know that will take longer, though I'm not really sure how long. My initial goal, lofty as it may seem, is to be able to play for my kids... preferably the song at the end of this link:
http://songoffaith.com/mp3s/Albums/BeautifulToMe/BTM_Lullaby_DonFrancisco.mp3

Estimated Date to Learn the Song: 2015
Learn the piano
Be able to play and sing this song, "When The Praises Start" by Keith Green. Playing is one thing.. playing and singing requires a bit more proficiency at the art. I'm hoping to be able to get a lot of practice time and have this one taken care of pretty soon. The link to the song is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIgVU_5FsqA&feature=related

Date of Completion: 2012
Sing in Les Miserables on stage
This is one I'm not sure about. Some people might call this a pipe dream, since it takes a relative mastery of singing skill to sing on public stage in the first place... and singing in Les Miserables has got to be one of the highlights of any thespian's acting career. That said.. I'm sure there's a chance somewhere. My goal is to have get one of four parts: Jean Valjean, Marius, Javert or Enjolras. To play as Marius or Enjolras, I'd need to get the part in the next 3-5 years.. the other parts, I could take much longer.

Most Likely Completion Date: 2018
Go snorkeling
This one won't be hard to do, in fact, I could probably do this virtually anywhere there is water. But I want to do this at an ocean somewhere.. The other requirement is being at an ocean that is good for snorkeling. I don't know if I've been to one yet. So it will require going to certain kind of beach.. (which I've been looking forward to anyway).

Date I Want This Finished: 2013
Go white water rafting
I've been white water rafting once.. it was actually white water canoeing.. with my parents and Shelva on the Spring River in Arkansas... Honestly, it has to be one of my favorite memories.. though I don't remember much. I do know that growing up, I was a pretty selfish child in my worldview. I didn't for a moment consider the fact that we went on that trip (or many others) because my parents wanted to go, but because it would be fun for me. I want to take my parents on some sort of vacation they'd love one of these days.. But I digress.

Date of Most Probable Completion: 2014
Go on a cruise
This is the vacation I may take my parents on.. Though I'd want it to be a 2 week cruise.. up from the California coast to Alaska, then back. Or maybe I'll just fly them to Hawaii. Who knows.

Date of Most Probable Completion: 2016
Go surfing
This one will be way too much fun to keep unfulfilled for very long. I actually want to own a surfboard when this one is wiped off, so it may be a little longer than just.. grabbing a piece of wood and jumping in the water for a few minutes. It will also probably be after I move to California.

Date of Most Probable Completion: 2018
Ride in a hot air balloon
This one is quite self-explanatory, so I don't see the need to flesh out the details. I think there are lots of festivals in August and October where the possibility may present itself. But I don't want to get in one and go up then down in some "Oh wow.. I'm off the ground, look how little you are - take that gravity!" moment. I want to get in a hot air balloon in Point A, leave, then arrive at Point B... somewhere else.

Desired Completion Date: 2020
Go paragliding
Hmm, this one will require some planning, probably take place after the move and sounds like a LOT of fun. It's also probably quite expensive.. $100 or so.. Hm. So I'm not sure when it'll happen.

Probable Date of Completion: 2019
Go on a cross country road trip
This one could be crossed off already, except for the fact that I'm starting with a clean slate and want this to be some subsequent cross-country road trip, as opposed to the ones I've already traveled on. It doesn't really matter where, and it doesn't have to be from the tip of Maine to the tip of California or whatever.. but it do require some awesome pictures along the way. Just typing this one out brought back some amazing memories.

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2014

Bucket List 11-20

2010-11-27T19:13:00.000-06:00

Design and build my dream house
Since I put the date at owning horses around March 2017, I'm going to set the date for having this item completed at around August 2016. (Looks like I'll have to add stables to my designs.) Counting backwards from there, I'd say the build will take around 4 months... making April of the same year marking the end of design, planning and purchasing (contracting, getting permits and whatever else is needed).

Most Probable Date of Completion: April 2017.
Send someone to the nations as a missionary
This one could be a bit cloudy, but I want to make it clear what this actually means. This isn't just about me sending money to support someone who is already in the field, and it's not about me training and sending someone myself. It could be as simple as knowing someone who is raising support and lending a hand, or supporting someone fully. At length, this is another one I believe won't be a "one-and-done" item on the list. I really want to be led to support lots of missionaries to the field. Maybe next year.

Most Probable Date of First Sending: June 2011.
Lead someone to the Lord
This has got to be in the top ten of all the items on the list.. if not #1. The preference is that this item would be repeated over and over.. but I do have to add a caveat. For this item to be crossed off the list, the person would need to be discipled after their conversion for a year. Not that I'd put that requirement to the person or even say that is the requirement for someone to be saved, but that's the goal I'm setting for myself.. not only to get a decision here or there, but to commit myself to the people God ministers to through me, to help them walk the walk through their first year, up to and even through helping them lead someone to the Lord and become a discipler as well..
2 Timothy 2:2 "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others."

I would love this one to take place any day now.. but due to stipulations, the actual cross-off date would be at least a year from now.. so.. December 2011 or January 2012..
Ride a gondola in Venice
This one will be easy if I'm able to go to Croatia next summer for some form of missions trip. Venice is just across the Adriatic from the country and I imagine we could take a quick trip over there for a day of sightseeing while on the trip. So, I hope to finish this in the summer of next year.

Most Probable Date of Completion: Summer 2011.
Go to a Renaissance fair
The only thing stopping me from heading out to one of these is finding out when they are held. I do know they happen every year and that there are several in the DFW area.. so it shouldn't be a hard thing to make this happen next year.

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2011.
Complete a marathon
This one depends a lot of how much I'm able to train. I want to work on my running stamina and endurance for the next year and do the White Rock Marathon next December. This year it's December 5th (which is my birthday) but it takes at least a year to train for one and I'd really rather run the entire thing as opposed to walking/running the thing.

Most Probable Date of Completion: December 2011.
Learn to dance
This one may be one of those that continue throughout my lifetime. But I need to put up some requirements that, when met, make it able to be crossed off at some point. I think in the next couple of months, I'll select three types of dance. When I know enough to pass myself as decent on a dance floor in all three, I'll consider this item X'ed.

Most Probable Date of Completion: June 2020.
Go water skiing
This one will require either owning a boat, or knowing someone who does. Since neither of those exist at the moment, I'm thinking it will take just a bit. However, since I do not want to be very much older when I'm out there careening through the water at 30 mph, I need to bump this up a little.

Most Probable Date of Completion: August 2014.
Go ice skating
This one will be very easy, and I want to have this one taken care of within a month. So, I really don't need to say anything else.

Date to Lace up the Skates: December 2010.
Go snow skiing
This one not so easy. Once I'm out in California, I imagine (since there are mountains all around) I will be able to find a place to ski sometime fairly soon afterwards, if it isn't incredibly busy.

Most Probable Date of Completion: February 2018.

Bucket List 1-10

2010-11-27T01:38:00.003-06:00

Finish my degree
So, this one is pretty easy. I get financial aid, so as long as I can continue to make the grades and work enough to pay for food, car payment, insurance, phone, etc... I should have this one taken care of in 3 years. The classes are tough and a lot of the 3000 classes are 3 hours per day... each.

Most Probable Date of Completion: We're looking at a probable graduation date around May 2013.
Become a best-selling author
This one is a lot harder. First, I have to get a book published. Then I have to somehow get decent enough advertising or get enough of a grass-roots movement to become popular, then sell more.. rinse and repeat several times. So, I'm going to say.. if my first book is a moderate success.. my second could have the same success.. then I think by the third, I'll have rep enough to sell.. and it'll hit the list.

Most Probable Date of Completion: I'm going to say 10 years on this one. 2020.
Turn book into a movie
Now, this one could be even easier than becoming a best-selling author. Since I'm a film major and my end game is to direct, when I graduate I'll have the prerogative to choose what I want to do. Now whether I get a job working on movies with someone else, doing them myself or working in some other field entirely, I'll at least have the knowledge to do it myself. Even if I worked on it for five years after I graduate (or even some while I'm in school... it could be sooner than the best-selling author date est.)

Most Probable Date of Completion: I'll give this one 7 years. 2017.
Climb to the top of a mountain
I think it depends on what mountain I decide to aim for. If I'm going for Pike's Peak.. it may be this year. But I'm thinking of something a little more substantial.... Maybe Mt. McKinley in Alaska.. or perhaps Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa. I'll probably make this one a little more difficult... like add multiple mountains to the list. But for now, I'll give myself 3 years to climb the first.

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2013.
Visit different countries
This one I really want to do next year. I'm really setting my sights on Croatia, but it'll take a bit of planning since I'd rather take a little group over to do some sort of ministry or outreach. Probably mixing a group of UTA students with Antioch-Dallas / Christ Fellowship people..

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2011
Visit every state, not just travel through
I'm going to have to make this one my far into the future one. Basically because if I finish all of these 100 things in 10 years I'll have nothing left to do for the rest of my life.. and I can't have that happen. So, seeing as I've been (and done something significant in) these states:
I've lived in: Texas, Arkansas, Florida, Virginia.
Vacationed in: California (San Diego Zoo), Arizona (Grand Canyon), New York (City/twice, Broadway), Colorado (Church Camp), Missouri (Silver Dollar City), Tennessee (Cabin in the Smokey Mountains), New Mexico (Carlsbad Caverns), Georgia (Church Camp).
Visited friends in: Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Oregon, Louisiana, Michigan

This leaves: Washington, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, District of Columbia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Alaska, Hawaii, Utah.

Barring the fact that half of these states have nothing I'd really be incredibly interested in seeing (your comments and suggestions are welcome) I could be one of those RVing grandparents roaming the countryside to find something fun to do when I'm 90.

...I doubt it.

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2040
Get married
I have virtually no control over this one. At least, not until I meet the girl. There are many girls I've met in the past few days, weeks, months, etc.. who have made me look twice just in the instance something happened... but I haven't had that gut "this is her, go after her with everything" feeling yet. Now, this isn't to say someone I've already met isn't that girl (I get the feeling I've met her... or at least know her) but the feeling just hasn't come to fullness yet. So, I'm going to give the control of this one over to God... though I do want children, and that by itself makes me stick the timeline on this one around 2 to 4 years.

Most Probable Date of Partnership: May 2013
Have a child
Now, if we're subscribing to the May 2013 date for being married.. I'd have to give it at least a year .5 for the first child.. with that being completely up to mutual consent and decision, barring a miraculous intervention of God for some sort of precursor. So...

My Best Guess for Fruition: September 2014
Sell a painting for over $1000
Hmm... since I want to paint some sort of masterpiece ... I'd say this is definitely one of those life-long quests. Though $1,000 isn't an enormous amount of money, especially when talking about originals. So, masterpieces aside (that one is a few numbers up the list), I'd say this one is imminent... albeit a couple of years imminent.

Most Probable Date of Completion: 2012
Own horses
Well, this one is inexorably linked to #11 which just so happens to be on the next page. So whatever date I place on this page will justifiably be a date farther down the line than #11.. so I have to take that into account. Since the dream I had showed my wife, our child and I still fairly young (and in my mind it felt 5 years.. ) I'm going to say.. 2015.

Besides, even today I look 5 years younger than I actually am. ;)

Most Probable Date of Completion: March 2017. I have to get the house finished first...

What It's Going To Take

2010-11-26T00:05:00.000-06:00

Well, for the next 10 blogs, I'm going to take 10 items from my bucket list and detail (with links or pictures or whatever) what it will take for each item to be completed. Then if anyone wants to know a birthday or Christmas list... they need only consult the blog. :) jk

Well, the next one may be something unrelated to the bucket list altogether, but I highly recommend it.

The Count of Monte Cristo

2010-11-24T01:27:00.002-06:00

..... um.. yeah. It's 3 inches thick. Just the sight of this book made my mouth fall open. It's huge. Over 1,000 pages. I hope it lends to some sort of knowledge or smartness before I'm finished. Up to page 40 now.. nothing entirely new to impart except for the fact that Alexander Dumas is INCREDIBLY thorough in every minute detail.

More to come.

For the Girls.. How to find your perfect guy.

2010-11-22T23:04:00.000-06:00

I've never actually typed this up, so I'll put it here.

Okay girls.. after this, don't say I never warned you... So men are like lions. Take it from me.. I know us. The male lion is a pretty lazy creature. He usually sleeps or reclines underneath a tree .. somewhere around 20 hours a day. That's a lot of laziness. Some smart nature people say it's because it's so hot in the middle of the African savannah, but you know..

So, the lion gets hungry.. he glances over and sees a herd of gazelle grazing nearby and he jumps up.. stalks the gazelle, gets as close as he can.. pounces if possible, but under most conditions (unless the gazelle wants to get caught, or is sick or lame (infer what you will)) chases the gazelle around a bit until he can pull it down from behind. The killing over, the lion usually drags the gazelle back to his tree, eats until he's full and falls back asleep.

Here is the parallel. A guy will do anything to get a girl. He will chase her, take her out, spend money on her, talk to her, work hard, play hard... and then, once he's got the girl, he goes back to lay under the tree.

Moral of the story: Find a guy you love while he's laying under the tree (not trying to "get" you) If you find that guy.. you'll be happy.

Basically, you need to do some research. Girls if you want a guy who will lead you spiritually, don't get the guy who walks in halfway through service and sits or stands in the back row... He won't change just because you start dating him.... well, maybe he will for 6 months. etc.. just apply to whatever situation.

Basically ladies, you are the ones choosing. The guy is the one courting. You are the prize. And if you're the prize, you'd better make yourself hard to get.. I don't mean make yourself unavailable, I mean raise your standards. If he asks you out, give him a chance.. say yes. But when you go out, you need to keep your eyes open and heart shut. Until you know him better.

The Bible says to guard your heart.. it doesn't say that because the heart is delicate.. it says that because the heart will blind wisdom. That word to guard means to tie it down so it can't move you. Don't let yourself be moved until wisdom gives the okay.

To Kill A Mockingbird -- Harper Lee (1)

2010-11-19T12:48:00.000-06:00

Well, I'll start off giving this book the number 1 ranking before I even tally up the points. (I've even forgotten what the point system was.. I'll have to go back and look.

Harper Lee weaved this marvelously beautiful book together through the eyes of a child, Scout, with an amazing air of warmth and feeling. This book makes me want to increase my vocabulary. I be able to employ all of the words she uses when writing.. all of the four and five syllable words that we seem to lose in everyday language. We hear a lot about all the words we gain every year in the new dictionaries.. (blog, internet, etc) but never realize that our language is actually losing far more than it's gaining. When the settlers first arrived in the colonies, the English language had an average of 6,000 everyday words. Our vocabulary now is around 2,000 everyday words. This isn't to say we don't use other words... but we don't use other words on the level we use those 2,000.

She uses all of these and more. Based in and around 1935, "Mockingbird" is about the coming of age for children in a Southern town filled with seemingly inescapable class characterizations, racial tension and rape. The South itself plays a large role in the language and lifestyle of characters portrayed, as well as the North's handling of the South since Reconstruction ended. I strongly recommend this book to anyone to read.

Now, once again, the all important rating:

Flow: The book flowed effortlessly through the chapters, though Harper Lee uses a definite dividing line between chapters. She ends each chapter with a good line, then starts the next seemingly (sometimes) in the middle of a story as if we'd been there the entire time. I compare it to the needle on a record player skipping. For those too young to know what that means.. think of it as a CD skipping. ;) -- 9

Believability: Since most of the book was taken from her memories as a child and the trial itself was taken from something she'd heard about in 1936, the book is definitely believable. I think the most believable thing about it, however, is the way she writes. -- 9

Suspension of Reality: You can hear, see and smell the characters. When Scout brings cold corn bread to Dill to eat, I could taste it.. though I think I was probably hungry.. Point is, when I picked the book up, I almost felt the need to tell them I'd be back later... anyway. -- 9

Message: The book is so popular it has never been out of print. That is something to say. At the same time, only 6 literary studies have been done on it, and whether there have been more compelling journals or novels out there to pick from and it has simply been unlucky, I think that may be because they felt no need to defend it. It's so popular, why bother talking about it. People read studies when the ones writing them bring controversy to the table. And unless a literary study is talking about how horrible the book is, there would be none. There are so many messages in this book, the coming of age of a young boy and girl in a different era, racial tensions reflected in deciding between a black man on trial for allegedly raping a white woman, social structures, religion... -- 9

Intrinsics: All in all.... I don't know how much more to say about the book. I loved it. The language was mesmerizing and makes me want to read the dictionary... not just to see the words and understand them, but to know them. To put them to everyday usage. -- 10

Total: 46 of 50

To Kill A Mockingbird

2010-11-18T18:18:00.000-06:00

Wow, this book is long.. I don't remember "1984" being nearly this long.. nor "Swiss Family Robinson".. Here I am, inundated with information and humor and sadness and the life of a child turning into a young adult during the Depression and I'm not even halfway through. It's a great book.. and at the moment, I'd have to put it above "1984" simply for it's ability to connect and be so true to what the South was.. and is.

In the manner that "1984" was seemingly post-apocalyptic and deadly and so gritty it could turn true in a moment, "To Kill A Mockingbird" is so real and so utterly believable to be told from the eyes of a seven year old. Loiuse Jean Finch, or Scout, as most people call her in the book, is a very smart little girl. I think I love the language of the book the most, however. It isn't the talking... that is mostly Southern English, and we hear enough of that growing up. It's the narrative in the in-between parts. I'll give two examples:

"The second grade was grim, but Jem assured me that the older I got the better school would be, that he started off the same way, and it was not until one reached the sixth grade that one learned anything of value. The sixth grade seemed to please him from the beginning: he went through a brief Egyptian Period that baffled me—he tried to walk flat a great deal, sticking one arm in front of him and one in back of him, putting one foot behind the other. He declared Egyptians walked that way; I said if they did I didn’t see how they got anything done, but Jem said they accomplished more than the Americans ever did, they invented toilet paper and perpetual embalming, and asked where would we be today if they hadn’t? Atticus told me to delete the adjectives and I’d have the facts."

"For reasons unfathomable to the most experienced prophets in Maycomb County, autumn turned to winter that year. We had two weeks of the coldest weather since 1885, Atticus said. Mr. Avery said it was written on the Rosetta Stone that when children disobeyed their parents, smoked cigarettes and made war on each other, the seasons would change: Jem and I were burdened with the guilt of contributing to the aberrations of nature, thereby causing unhappiness to our neighbors and discomfort to ourselves."

It's very beautiful writing.. so I recommend it to anyone. And in this case, as is the same with many others I've read (though much more in my opinion in this case because of the exquisite prose she uses), the book is far better than the movie. You don't get this type of writing translated onto the screen. Words like unfathomable and aberrations don't translate well into picture.

That's all for now. It's time to head out to Life Group.. hope the day goes well for everyone.

A Shiny Penny

2010-11-18T12:15:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm going to start on the next item in my bucket list... and this one has a lot to do with getting the land to build my dream house on. Of course, this one will take a lot of help. So, I'm going to enlist everyone I can find.. (of course, you'll get some sort of recognition... somewhere down the line) but here's the plan. I'm going to trade this shiny penny for something.. and that something for something else.. and so on, until I've traded my way into that land.

When the trade is made, I'll hand deliver the object I'm trading... no matter how far, I want to meet the people helping me do this. The only requirement is the object being traded to me has to be worth just a little bit more than the item I'm trading to them. Thanks!

Now, who'll trade me something for this beautiful shiny penny? It's shiny.. and it's a penny. Not the new ones with the weird seals on the back, but an honest Abraham Lincoln memorial penny.

And just in case anyone is wondering.. the land most resembling what I'm looking for is found at this link:
http://www.kw.com/homes-for-sale/93023/CA/Ojai/100-Senior-Canyon-Road/3yd-KW-1343_10014514.html

Oh, one more caveat.. to trade, you'll need to subscribe to my blog. You want to find out what happens don't you? Subscribe to the blog and comment what you'd like to trade. Each item will have it's own post as the list grows.

Work

2010-11-16T00:49:00.000-06:00

Well, my workload has increased dramatically... and I've even had an offer from a friend at church who told me he might be able to get me a job with his family's business. They have me scheduled for 41 hours this week (but I will say this much.. I need some prayer.) I don't know if it's because I'm reaching for things as I'm checking people out.. but I've stopped leaning on my shoulder (to try to help it) and it's hurting worse now.

In any case... work is good, I'm having a lot of fun. I got an email from the housing department at UTA. They have two houses I can move into this week. But I'm not sure what they entail (whether they're empty houses and I'll have to find roommates or what...) because one house is $950, the other is $875 (or somewhere around there). I was shocked. They are either stand alone houses or duplexes.. they are not on campus (so that adds a little). I think I may go down to housing and see if I can just get my name put on the list I'm supposed to be on. The houses I was actually applying for on campus is only $250 a month, so yeah, big difference.

Anyway, I'll let everyone go.. Someone told me I look like I'm writing a book when I do these.. I've started on my symphony. If anyone knows of good music software that I can use to simulate and record violins, cellos, cymbals, clarinets, orchestral equipment, etc... please let me know. Thanks! love you all.

Shoulder Pain and Thanksgiving

2010-11-10T23:55:00.000-06:00

Well, it appears my Thanksgiving will be coming a bit sooner this year.. this weekend to be exact. Normally, we'd all head up to Springdale to stay in or around my Uncle Kevin and Aunt Shirley's house and meet most of the family there... this year, it looks like everyone is being pulled in all different sorts of directions and that won't be possible. Thankfully though, I'll be able to sleep in the Friday after. :)

So... that's the Thanksgiving part, now for the shoulder pain part... wow. I haven't hurt this bad in ... ever. I don't know what I did to it, but it's like someone twisted my shoulder around three times and then popped it really good with their fist. It feels a bit like a constant neck pain, like the kind when you sleep wrong and wake up not able to turn your head one way.. Well, this has gone on for several days now and it just doesn't look like there is any relief in site. I'm sure there is, and I'm sure, like everything else, this will pass.. c'est la vie.

I'm sure this isn't the wise, learned, thoughtful commentary you've been expecting to hear tonight. You pull up a blog to read some deep statement and you get a health report. Well, let's see. Let's see if I can start right now and throw something profound in here off the top of my head.

So, I was thinking about this shoulder pain thing for about five seconds and... well, honestly, I don't know what I realize but I'm going to keep typing and just show you what comes out. There is no forethought to any of this, only what my fingers type. I literally don't even have sentences formed when I'm typing. I see the very next word in line and hope it creates a complete thought when included with the one behind and before. Hm.. that worked. I have no idea how I can make some sort of parallel between my aching shoulder and some point of order in the universe... and I'm sure some of you.. or maybe none of you, will comment and say, well, you could see it as pain that you suffer through and it's indicative of the things we labor through even when it hurts to reach those things we really desire.. and all that... but I'm looking for something really deep.

Did you know there are only 1,000 tigers left in the wild? That saddens me, that we've taken some of the most beautiful creatures and destroyed them... wiped them out. It sort of draws me to the conclusion that we're regressing. We've become so adept at technology, but can anyone solve a calculus problem without pulling out their calculator? There were those in the early 19th century who could.. We have computers to spell for us, figure things out for us, we have Google to ask for definitions, synonyms, antonyms (and no, I spelled those all myself ;) )... we have GPS because it seems no one can remember directions anymore.

When was the last time someone told you, "You're going to turn left on this street, then pass four houses and then..." before you interrupted them and said, "Oh, I have it on Google maps, just give me your address.." When was the last time you just opened the door and walked into a relatives house...

One of my fondest memories is walking into Mam-maw and Pap-paw's house while they were gone.. feeling like we lived there. We didn't do that at anyone elses.. I do it at my parent's house now.. so I guess it's the same thing. But as a kid.. it was so much different... there was a red crayon jammed into the door lock from goodness knows when for probably as long or longer than I've been born... and they never bothered to change it (it's been changed recently) and we would walk in and there was always this faint smell of cooking.. or apples.. or pears.. fresh. Like they'd just been picked out of the tree. We seemed to usually arrive on Wednesday nights or Sunday nights, and they were at church when we got there. No matter how tired I was, I always wanted Mam-maw to cook me a little hamburger.. those were THE best... I wish I could cook one like that.

I remember being half-asleep, helping, or not helping, to make the bed then doing the prayer in the middle of the living room all together, with Pap-paw praying out loud... I almost always finished before he did, but even since the first time, even when I didn't know for sure, I always knew.. you waited for Pap-paw to finish before you moved.. and he'd finish and then we'd get up and go on to bed. On summer nights, he'd walk around and spray stam or some sort of mosquito repellent on the windows... and you'd lay there awake and listen to the weird sounding bugs or frogs outside.

We're so closed off now.. we have our privacy fences and our garages. Most people I know, pull into the driveway, open the garage, pull into the garage, close the garage and get out. They never even talk to their neighbors. My mom does.. but I'm not sure if that sort of neighborhood will ever exist again once my parent's generation stops.

I want to add that to my bucket list.. but I don't want to do 101 things or it'll look cheesy like.. 101 things to do when you're bored.. but my 100.0 thing to do would be to know my neighbors. Know their kids, their kid's birthdays, their birthdays, their ups and downs... ins and outs.. I want it to be said of me when I die that I brought everyone together. That I pulled for everyone to win. I want two people to be able to look at each other and say.. "If it weren't for DeJuan, I'd have never met you and now you're my best friend.. "

I don't know how to start that.. actually, I don't know how to start most of the items on my bucket list... I can't read all 100 books tonight.. I probably won't finish them in 10 years... (well, at the rate I'm going now, maybe 10 months..) but it's just a step in that direction.

And if you want to do the same.. stop rushing about so much.. talk to someone next to you on the bus, train, grocery line.. introduce yourself.. they will probably look at you funny.. but it's not because it's weird.. it's because it's uncommon! Be an uncommon person. Be a person who takes the moment and lives it... Let's not settle into out robotic modes of life.. that isn't living at all.

I'll close now.. but with a quote from one of my all time favorite movies.. Meet Joe Black. It's a quote about REALLY loving someone but I think it can be applied to almost anything in life..

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

1984 -- George Orwell (2)

2010-11-09T02:52:00.001-06:00

I don't really know how to describe this book. I guess I could do so in several different ways, but I think I'll aim in two, just to narrow down the focus. Hmm.. that word coming from me in that way..

Politically, it seems almost as if this book is slowly materializing, or has already and maybe always has been materialized in and among anyone sitting under any form of government. Most governments, however well they hide the secret of the fact, devise some means to control the thought processes of those under its rule. In the book, a quote that stuck out to me (among hundreds of others) was one O'Brien says while Winston is being tortured:

"In the old days the heretic walked to the stake still a heretic, proclaiming his heresy, exulting in it. Even the victim of the Russian purges could carry rebellion locked up in his skull as he walked down the passage waiting for the bullet. But we make the brain perfect before we blow it out. The command of the old despotisms was 'Thou shalt not'. The command of the totalitarians was 'Thou shalt'. Our command is 'Thou art'."

It wasn't so much punishing for the doing and stopping the doing, or forcing the doing, but causing some sort of change within the man to make him be the doing. If success is found here, there is nothing else that needs happen. If a power could change the world-view of its subjects, it would be able to remain in power indefinitely as shown in the book. During the course of the book, facts were added and changed frequently, and through a process called doublethink, the populace believed the new fact as if the old had never existed.

I can see this going on in society as a whole now. There are entire populations of people, maybe not gathered into one place (though in the age of the Internet does it really matter?) who say the Holocaust never occurred. We know it occurred. We can go and look at photographs, we can walk through the remains of the concentration camps and there are huge storylines of people who came through it and passed down the tale to their families. But for reasons as varied as the people who tell them, there are those who believe the factual occurrence never happened. And they don't say it because they want to believe it didn't happen, they believe it didn't happen. At that point, the person is an atheist in that particular belief and their world-view shapes the framework of their believing so that even in light of incredible evidence, they will stand against it.

This could be much longer, but I've already posted a few things about the book as I read, so I'll keep it short and head on to the ratings portion of the program.

Flow - 8 (I sometimes thought I'd missed a page when new chapters started. That's why I didn't give it a 10)
Believability - 9
Suspension of Reality - 7
Message - 10
Intrinsics - 8
Total - 42 of 50

Back in high school, I'd played the part of O'Brien's servant in the school play, though the screenplay of this seemed far different than the actual novel. Now, thinking back, I imagine it probably wasn't, though I'm a little older now and understand quite a bit more than I did then about the subtle meanings and differences placed in the books. I even now understand what happens after the "The End". He tells you if you read carefully enough.

So for now, barring any masterful performances by other novels, I'll place this one at number 2. I'm sure something will pull a 45 out of 50.. but I'm trying to be strict in my ratings and have an actual reasoning to give it the numbers I do.

1984 -- George Orwell... the spiritual point of view

2010-11-09T02:50:00.000-06:00

If we look at this spiritually, we can see the same thing happened to the Pharisees who stood against Jesus in the councils and even after he rose from the dead. They knew something had happened beyond their control and even though they saw the miracles and even had firsthand accounts from the soldiers who guarded his tomb, WOULD NOT believe in the face of unimaginable evidence (they of all people who quite possibly had the most of any single group).

And as the Bible said, it wasn't that they didn't want to believe.. They were the religious group. They were the ones who wanted to turn Israel back from its secular leanings of the time. They were the ones searching the hardest for the Messiah. It wasn't that they didn't want to believe, they couldn't believe. They'd attached their minds so strongly to a particular position and a particular world-view that there was no room for anything skewed from their standpoint. As Isaiah 6:9 says:

"And He said, 'Go and say to this people:

'Keep on hearing, but do not understand;

keep on seeing, but do not percieve.''"

More and more my eyes have been opened to the importance of the Godly world-view. A world-view isn't something that changes with laws and rules and decisions and thoughts. It is that thing, even deeper than a thing.. it is the foundational basis, behind every law, rule, decision and thought we follow or do not follow. It is what is there after every other thing is stripped away. It is the device against which we as human beings have no power to fight.

More than ever, and I apologize for my lack of eloquence or coherence, I believe the Bible to be the blueprint from God, for man, containing the way to superimpose the correct world-view over the one we've come to follow without question. It is a world-view rife with faith, love, hope, mercy against our self-driven world-view of narcissism and worry and self-doubt.

It's not a formula, please don't mistake what I'm saying as that.. but it's by committing ourselves to it in discipline and not requirement, we can begin to understand the true nature of things. It's never a requirement. If we try to do something because "we have to do it" we'll never get the full benefit and for all we know, the benefit may be skewed in any case. But if we do it out of the joy of knowing it is a good thing that profits much, whether we see it in the near or far, fruit will come. And fruit that comes is not a fruit that is forced. Perhaps for ten years you see nothing, but then suddenly, you look at the life that you live and notice ones alongside who have been fed by the fruit from the branches of your life for years without you knowing.

That is knowing your world-view has changed. When things happen, good things (of which we know nothing good comes except from the Father), happen to change the life of those around you; Godly spoken words, or words of thanksgiving or praise, come from your mouth as easily as a singular, "Hello," emerges when passing someone in the hallway. When you notice right thoughts flow out about something, not because you rehearsed and memorized them like some actor on stage, but because they flowed from a well deeper than that within you. That is when you know the Word has changed you.

Do anything

2010-11-08T02:37:00.000-06:00

There is a well known saying. "All it takes for evil to win is for good men to do nothing." It's something like that and I'm sure I will have many people thinking it was worded slightly different. But I just read something else in 1984 that really got me.. Winston is trying to reconcile with this gut feeling inside of him that something is just not right.. things can't be the way they've been portrayed, but there is no proof. The history has been meticulously erased, rewritten and smoothed over, so that every statistic given by the ones in power has backed up "proof" of being completely correct and even people who fight against the government are wiped from existence so thoroughly that a husband will forget his wife after a time and will even wonder if he merely imagined her, she is so permanently removed from every form except the memory of the individual.

"Everything faded into mist. The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth."

I cannot iterate enough that this book needs to be read.. There are so many applications even though the horror of Big Brother never(?) came to be..

Proles

2010-11-08T02:25:00.000-06:00

"In reality very little was known about the proles. It was not necessary to know much. So long as they continued to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of ancestral pattern. They were born, they grew up in the gutters, they went to work at twelve, they passed through a brief blossoming-period of beauty and sexual desire, they married at twenty, they were middle-aged at thirty, they died, for the most part, at sixty. Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbours, films, football, beer, and above all, gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult. A few agents of the Thought Police moved always among them, spreading false rumours and marking down and eliminating the few individuals who were judged capable of becoming dangerous ; but no attempt was made to indoctrinate them with the ideology of the Party. It was not desirable that the proles should have strong political feelings. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working-hours or shorter rations. And even when they became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere, because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice. The great majority of proles did not even have telescreens in their homes. Even the civil police interfered with them very little."

1984 Chapter 7
I just looked at this through new eyes. The "proles" are the proletariat, a citizen of the lowest class. In the world of 1984, they were the underbelly, those not even worth worrying about because they could be controlled so easily. When I saw this, I wondered if the book was true in some sense.

If you strain out the multi-millionaires and government employees and those in power, you get a distinct and sometimes disregarded (especially by some in leadership) group of people who don't really care much about how things happen as long as they don't mess with their status quo very much. As long as I'm doing all right, it doesn't really matter what happens four doors down, much less on the other side of this big blue and green ball we live on. You could take this one paragraph and swap out very few words and perfectly describe a lot of life in the United States right now. Hardly 10% of the entire population votes in any election, meaning out of a country of 300 million, 30 million are deciding who will be in office. When special elections come up for state constitution amendments even less show up. That's just one example, and it is fresh because the elections just happened. But it's just something that made me stop and think. Another quote from the book...

"Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious."

Swiss Family Robinson -- Jean Rudolph Wyss (60)

2010-11-07T23:27:00.000-06:00

I finished reading this book last night. If you want a book to encourage you to give up everything and find a nice deserted island to live on, this is the one. I don't think your experience will be the same as their's, however. I have to say I wasn't incredibly impressed with the realism.

It's about a French family on an island apparently near New Zealand (there is a kangaroo mentioned). In the film, they were headed for New Guinea. They were shipwrecked, though the entire ship lasted quite a while on the reef where it was stranded (the family had to blow the whole thing up when they were done with it). It was definitely a book more suited to a less cynical or realistic reader (not to say I am cynical, since I'm not). Though cutting the inside out of a tree to make a virtual winding staircase to the canopy above would kill the tree. If food supplies seemed to be getting low, one only needed to pull any random plant out of the ground. It would invariably turn into potatoes or some other form of edible root. You want coconuts? Walk under a tree and a monkey will throw one at you. Every wild animal they caught was easily tamed by simply puffing tobacco smoke at it or biting its ears (as in the case of the onager). The wildlife of this strange island reminded me a of the television show LOST. There was a 30 foot boa constrictor (who ate the donkey), flamingos, kangaroos, bears, ostriches, salmon (in New Zealand?), a beached whale, tigers, at least two lions, monkeys, parrots of all kinds, huge land crabs, hippos, buffalo, eagles and walruses among others. An eagle is caught and trained to hunt other birds for the family (in fact, the eagle kills a male ostrich and is instrumental in helping the boys catch another ostrich which is trained to be a mount).

PETA would be incensed if it were around in those days (not that I care what PETA thinks), as Mr. Robinson and his sons shot everything in sight whether they needed it for food or not. Instead of helping the poor beached whale back into the ocean, they stripped blubber off for oil (lamps) and skin to make leather harnesses for the other animals, then left the rest for the seagulls and birds.

This book, in my opinion, was written simply for entertainment purposes. It was perhaps written in the same manner, or at least with the same beginning, as the one I've written, pure fun and fancy. "Let's write about a family who gets shipwrecked on an island." There is no tragedy of loss. Civilization is lost, though it is spurned by most of the family at the end anyway. In the immense farm of animals, the only deaths chronicled are the "old" donkey (eaten), which was probably on its last leg anyway, and Juno (the dog) who'd lived at least 12 years to that point (killed by a tiger). The trained eagle also died after being with Fritz the entire story, but so many things are happening at that point it is barely referred to. Nor is there any deep political meaning of trying to escape the evil empire or kingdom of taxation and tyranny. On the contrary, this French family welcomes the colonization of their proud New Switzerland by the English whose ship found them.

Now for the rating:
Flow - 8
Believability - 4
Suspension of Reality - 5
Message - 3
Intrinsics - 5
Total - 24

So I think for the moment, I'll put this book at 60 on my list of the top 100.

Wrote a song

2010-11-07T05:03:00.000-06:00

Well, I suppose another item on my "Bucket List" was to write songs... so I suppose I could post this here. It has a tune sort of, but I've no REAL knowledge of the piano or guitar or notation to put it onto paper, though I can whistle it.... hm.

Anyway, here it is.

It's called "Your Hand Catches Me"

There's been something I've been trying to do
Trying to find the life You've made for me
But I've been doing it all on my own
Running and looking and searching alone

You've held out Your hands to help
But I've been too busy to see
It's not that I wouldn't accept it
But it never seemed that concrete
I've given it a lot of thought
And it's just a matter of faith
To believe and follow is all You've asked
With the willingness You've given me

I've tried and failed so many times
This life has wearied me
But I push You away and try again on my own
I can't find the strength to do it again
And You reach out Your hand
I slip as I rise and reaching I cry
And Your hand catches me.

Number 47

2010-11-07T02:57:00.004-06:00

I said I wanted to read the top 100 novels. I've listed these here. It is most likely not complete, as I will probably add some classic Christian novels; Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are listed, though Pilgrim's Progress is not.

Here they are. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.. My bucket list says the top 100, but I'm very willing to go over that number. :) I will also strike through each of the novels as I read them. A subsequent post will be added to talk about those books at the time I finish them.

Bucket List

2010-11-07T02:52:00.001-06:00

Finish my degree
Become a best-selling author
Turn book into a movie
Climb to the top of a mountain
Visit different countries
Visit every state, not just travel through
Get married
Have a child
Sell a painting for over $1000
Own horses
Design and build my dream house
Send someone to the nations as a missionary
Lead someone to the Lord
Ride a gondola in Venice
Go to a Renaissance fair
Complete a marathon
Learn to dance
Go water skiing
Go ice skating
Go snow skiing
Learn the guitar
Learn the piano
Be able to play and sing this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIgVU_5FsqA&list=MLGxdCwVVULXd1RUDA2Jn7kDMbnJ6ywscF&playnext=3)
Sing in Les Miserables on stage
Go snorkeling
Go white water rafting
Go on a cruise
Go surfing
Ride in a hot air balloon
Go paragliding
Go on a cross country road trip
Go rock climbing
Go on a safari
Visit Victoria Falls
Dive the Great Barrier Reef
See Angel Falls
Climb the Statue of Liberty
See Mount Rushmore
Visit a castle
Visit the Pyramids of Giza
Visit Israel
See the Leaning Tower
Go to the British Isles
Go to Niagara Falls
See the Coliseum in Rome
Publish and keep a blog
Restore a 1965 Mustang
Read top 100 novels (bottom)
Become an early riser
Write a screenplay
Have a role in a movie
Direct a movie (or be a consultant)
Own a sailboat
Own a business
Drive the Autobahn
Have a garden
Go green
Walk on the Great Wall of China
Own a drive-in movie theater
Memorize poetry
Be a hero
Paint a mural masterpiece
Stay close to family
Buy dad and mom a home
Build a boat
Hang glide
Fish with my kids
Learn another language
Learn to fly a plane
Visit the Smithsonian
Visit the Louvre
Sculpt with marble
Learn pottery
Build an awesome model railroad layout
Do a radio show
Own land in the mountains
Build a cabin by hand
Write a symphony
Be a trusted best friend to someone
Be able to give Godly counsel to people
Keep my mouth closed when I need to
Confront people when I need to
Give out more love than I receive (from others)
Build the myPad houses and help them become popular
Become a master carpenter/builder
Be a confidant and advisor
Inspire someone to greatness
Find a needy village and give myself to training them
Help reform the national tax code in some way
Home school my kids
Train my children in the way of the Word of God (Pr 22:6)
Lay down my life for my friends
Read the Bible through every year
Build a castle the way they did in medieval times
Learn to live off the land
Direct and produce the movie “This Present Darkness”
Adopt a child
Keep a written journal about everything on this list
Build inner-city ministries to get the forgotten off the streets
Build the ministry “Speed the End”
Allow myself to make mistakes

Why?

2010-11-06T23:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess I should go ahead and tell why this entire blog is here. I'm not sure when this all started, probably because of some crazy Facebook chain letter.. but I've become intrinsically involved in making a bucket list and having it steer a course in my life. Though at the same time, it isn't the list that steers my life, because I feel that God steered the list. Of course, there are things on the list that are inherently mine and are simply there for experience's sake. But the heart of what came to light in me was Ephesians 5:15-16, "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

I guess I never saw my life as something that had to be ordered. I felt that if I just did the thing I felt was right at the time, went the direction I ultimately felt my life was supposed to be headed, I'd arrive wherever I was supposed to end up. Well, the fault in that thinking was that I didn't know myself. My supposed end destination seemed to change from year to year causing my path to change from year to year. In turn, most of the projects and plans never got out of step 1.

Now I don't ever want to discourage someone from going after something they are passionate about. I believe my chief problem was that I didn't go after something passionately enough. If I had been more passionate about going after singing, perhaps I'd have been in a band for the time I was passionate about it. If I had been more passionate about doing this or that, perhaps I would have had much more to show for those times. Instead, I seemed to try to funnel that passion into a perfecting of something that wasn't to stay around for very long. In time, the season passed and with no understanding or wisdom of why it passed, I carried on to the next thing.

So, I'd give this advice: Run hard after the thing you desire most desperately. Don't let anyone tell you to slow down or stop. If you desire to do something, do it now. Because you do not know when that desire will wane. And until that time comes, at least you have something to show for the waning. Instead of saying, I want to be a missionary, let's save up for training school, learn a language, do this, do that.. just GO! Get training in the meantime while waiting for the departure date, but find an outlet and go. If your church is going on a short term missions trip to Mexico or Canada or two cities over, go with them, doing whatever will get you on the trip.

In any case, I want to put this list out there, to make it known to whoever wants to read this. Perhaps to inspire, perhaps to keep me inspired... perhaps even to serve as a basis for ideas for others to commit for themselves. But this is my checklist, and I'll be keeping notes here as the list shortens and things are accomplished.

Just to keep this from being eternally long, I'll post the list on the next blog.

DeJuan

From Fig Leaves to Faith

2010-11-05T19:21:00.000-05:00

The name for this blog came from a post I wrote a few years back. It's been a while, but the truth doesn't change and I go back and read it from time to time. I felt it right to put it here, as I start this blog, to kick off what should be a very well traveled blogging journal.

**August 28, 2008**

Fig leaves. Wow. That has become this huge thing the past few days. Fig leaves. Fear. I mean, honestly, the only thing worse would have been if they'd accidentally grabbed poison ivy.

Adam and Eve. Faith was their natural language from the beginning. No fear. Simple, complete, utter faith. They didn't have faith the size of a mustard seed. They had faith the size of a redwood. Humankind's language to reach God.

The moment the fall happened, that all changed. Even before God pronounced judgment, the two could sense it in the air. Fear. They lost the ability to speak the language of faith. They lost the ability to speak God's language, and so a gap was created at which God called, "Adam, Adam, where are you?"

Instantly; suddenly instinctively, human hands pulled at the closest thing they could to cover their nakedness; their sin: leaves. Fig leaves. And at that moment, with the plucking of the very first leaf; man began his best attempts to please God with his achievement.

It was our sad attempt to cover our sin, to bring ourselves to a measuring place where we could make our way to that place of communion again.

And so time wove its beaded strands throughout a time strewn with men and women tugging at leaves to cover their condition. Ritualistic praise and penance dried, browned and flaked off as we continued to pluck anew to cover our ever worsening nakedness.

The second Adam, Jesus, arrived and in one of his last, most often skimmed over acts, cursed the tree with leaves of service and duty.

Two days before his death; two days before the moment when simple, believing faith would once again be the contextual avenue to reaching the heart of God; the leaf of ritual from the tree of striving was withered from the root.

Three years of training, testing, death and resurrection; and a mighty Holy Spirit baptism a few weeks later and the first words were uttered across the spirit realm from the lips of a man.

Flesh and Spirit is reunited. Communion is restored.

We can speak God's language again.